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"Death Cafe". The name may sound horrible to some people. However, I realized it is a serious matter when my dear friend suffering from ALS told me, ¡ÈI don't want to live while unconscious, lying on the bed strapped with all those plastic tubes¡É. He asked me if I could find out where and how he can die without his physician¡Çs interference. That's when I started to think about death, not only his but also my own. Oh, yes, Jack Kevorkian's name came to my mind along with the words "Euthanasia!", "Hemlock Society", "Dignity with Death", "Right to Die", "Compassion and Choices¡É.
It is correct to say that medical doctors' missions are to save the lives of those who suffer, and to refuse treatment is against the law. Here¡Çs one scenario: a frail 90 year old woman who had a heart valve problem. The doctor said the valve had to be replaced otherwise she would die. Her children and relatives wanted her to live. With all hope for her life, surgery was done, but the poor frail old woman passed away after 2 weeks while tubed and wired up, under unconsciousness. She just could not tolerate such drastic surgery. Then came the hospital bill of $250,000. Who pays? The old lady? The children? Had she wanted to live? She might have thought she would have been better off dead. We don¡Çt know as she was in such a frail distressed condition. That¡Çs when I started thinking that ¡Èupon my death I would not like to leave any burden on anyone who survives me. If I ever get sick and can not take care of myself, I would rather end my life! No burden on my wife nor children. I think that¡Çs very fair! I would prepare my will so there would be no probate and those left behind would know what to do¡É.
I used to think it was taboo to talk about death, and I would be crazy to talk about my own death. But my dear friend with ALS woke me up. It is a good thing to talk about death openly when it is inevitable.
Don¡Çt get me wrong, I am very healthy and mentally sound, but this is a good opportunity to participate in a lively dialog while respecting each other¡Çs thoughts. I am looking forward to the Death Café gathering.
Chuck Endo
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