Words out there

a love letter

Dear madam;

 Thank you very much for your letter.

 That was really sweet and made me happy.

 

Say, do you know how much I really impressed by your charms, you have a lot of charms to see and that is always overcoming any words to express the art of beauty in you.

 

I always love you as much as I do to the poetries, as the attitude toward the poetries decide the manner of affection in creating the words to express the stars, a crescent moon and anything beyond our imaginative creature in mind, yes, I always love to talk the words related to the virtue in your decent movement, the infinite elegance and more than them.

 

Respect yours,

      Keiko Blank

Do you love to romanticise yourself or what?

It was a perfect moment to see.

It was snowing around my town and every crag was covered by a white dress.

 

I do not like to romanticize myself or no, I can not romanticize myself.

 

Here is a story to tell.

This is about my mother.

She was still young as a mother for her daughter and she was some kind of old as to have a lover by her side. She was still 37years old when her husband had passed away.

 

Yesterday in one of my lessons, a student gave a question to me,

'Tell me how to attract the readers'

 

I felt I needed to have some time to think about a right answer for him and just said,

'Well, there are only two kindｓ of writings, one is just based on your personal experience and the other is just based on the reality. '

And I told my personal experience about my dad's death.

 

Yes, I just felt like running away into the darkness which has never been reflected by the sunshine bliss while I said that to him.

I don't know how to romanticize my old memory with the frills fantasies related to my dad.

I can't.

Because it stood on the half-reality and the half-dream.

I have never believed in his death, instead I have ever believed in his alive.

So I told a lie.

It was a bad lie.

I know it is a sin, not to punish anyone, anymore.

 

So I repeated playing an old and new French film which same Jack Gumblin told the same lines about the affection in French over and over, to recognize myself without any dreaming fantasies of the closest ones.

 

Declining someone's benevolance

Recently I finished writing a thesis about 'Horses', by Ted Hughes.

I sent it a scholar who has supervised my writing about Hughes for 5 years and he was really impressed by the perfection. He showed it one of his friends, a retired professor and she was impressed by it, too.

They recommended me that it should be printed in a magazine which a group of scholars in Kansai region of Japan edit.

I thought for a few days about printing, well precisely I just thought about what is going to happen after printing it.

If their praise to my thesis is correct, maybe, someone who are interested in Hughes or his poetries will ciriticize it or try to conntact with me or, whatever. And my decision was NO this time.

I want to pursue more completiion enough to share their agony.

Because now a lot of new findings about Hughes and Plath we have.

I need some more time to take them into accout.

I wrote to her three sorry mails although she never replyed to me.

She seemed really upset to be said No by young researcher who do have potential but turn around and would like to say to join your company.

I felt confused.

Just saying no would change the whole reationship in Japan, especially the youngers can not say no to the seniors. 

She was a monster of pride to see, anyway I thought.

I need to pretend an alien.

And let's use an electolic piano to communicate with her next time ( This is a joke from SF film, if you were born after 1970's, you may know my bad joke is from)