仏訳「女と酒と嗅ぎタバコ」 ― キーツ

Give Me Women, Wine, and Snuff

Give me women, wine, and snuff
Untill I cry out "hold, enough!"
You may do so sans objection
Till the day of resurrection:
For, bless my beard, they aye shall be
My beloved Trinity.

John Keats

女と酒と嗅ぎタバコ

女と酒と嗅ぎタバコをくれ
「もう結構！」と叫ぶまで
快く審判の日まで
聞いてくれるよね。
この三位一体は
僕の大好物だから。

キーツ

今回はフランス語である。言語が違うので本来の「女、酒、嗅ぎタバコ」から「酒、女、歌」に戻らないか、悪ふざけをしてみた。いかんせんフランス語は難しい。最初の一行はともかく、後は自信がないというより、表現のまずさ以前の箇所があるはずである。今回の訳詩が分かるネイティヴがいるとしたら、日本に長く滞在したフランス人であろう。

それはともかく当分改良の見込みはないので投稿することにした。なおフランス語の韻律については勉強してみたが、当分理解できそうもない。それに英語ほど辞書を持ち合わせていない。この講義が近くの大学であるなら、聴講生になりたい。音節数については完璧ではない。韻を踏むのに精一杯であった。まさに尻尾が犬を振っている。

Donnez moi vin, femme et chanson

Donnez moi vin, femme et chanson
Jusqu'à que je dise "non!"
Donnez moi sans objection
Jusqu'à la Résurrection
J'ai dit en vérité
Ma chérie Trinité.

John Keats

酒と女と歌を呉れよ

酒と女と歌を呉れよ
「もう結構」と言うまで。
悪気なく呉れよね
復活の時までは。
真実僕が言ってきた
大事な三位一体。

ジョン・キーツ

偶々成り行きでこんな「フランス語」の詩ができた。脚韻の評価をしてみよう。
最初の４行は「オーン」で終わっている。これで４行脚韻に関しては満点かというとそうはいかない。フランス語の詩では成績でいうと最初の二行は合格ではある。

「シャン・ソーン」と「ノーン」は評価では良なのである。では英語よりフランス語の方が韻に関して厳しいかといえば、そうでもない。ただ伝統的な詩型では英語がハンディーを背負っていることは確かである。

「オブジェク・ショーン」と「レジュレク・ショーン」は優である。これはキーツの詩をフランス語にしただけである。自慢にはならない。ただフランスから輸入した言葉であっても、フランスで同韻であってもイギリスで同韻になる保証は無い。今回は運良く優になった。

最後の「ヴェリテ・テ」と「トリニ・テ」は優である。最終音節が完全に一致している。

見た目には長さが違うが、音節数ではほぼ揃えたつもりである。

追記

次のような改訂版の提案があったので紹介します。ポライトな提案者は「内緒」をチェックされたのでいきさつが分かりにくいかと思いますが、韓国でフランス語文献を訳されている furanchphileさんです。

Donnez-moi les femmes, le vin et le tabac à priser
Jusqu'à ce que je crie "C'est assez!"
Vous pouvez faire ainsi sans aucune objection
Jusqu'au jour de la résurrection
Pour bénir ma barbe, ils devraient toujours être
Ma trinité aimée.

[francophile762004]

When I was a high school, I liked very much and memoriezd the poem <Splendor in the Grass>. What a beautiful poem! And I like very much beautiful Jacques Prevert's poems. Jacques Prevert's poems show very well the beauty of French language, I think. Merci beaucoup. Have a nice evening!

[fminorop34]

My French is just <encoded>English. As tou know, Canada's official language are English and French. I am a smoker. Everytime I smoked, I read <Warning Message> in both Languages. English version is easy. But French version is not written by <encodede> English. I understood that French is French.

[francophile762004]

There are some differences between French French and Quebec French. So when I was a student inFrench-Korean translation, I listened to Quebec news also in order to be familiar with Quebec French accent and intonation. I am familiar with French-French, but it is necessary to understand African French, North African French, etc.

[francophile762004]

For work, I speak French with French people and european people. And also I like speaking French with Koreans, Japanese, Chinese, who are francophone.It is very interesting!

[francophile762004]

Even if there are varieties of French language(French-French, Quebec French, African French, North African French, Indochina's French, Belgium's French, Suisse's French, etc), there are much more varieties of English, I think- British English, American English, Indian English, Singaporian English, Hong Kong's English, Asian English, African English, European English, etc.

[francophile762004]

And my South Korean friend, she studies in China since some years. According to her, there are varieties of Chinese languane - Chinese Vhinese, Taiwan's Chinese, Hong Kong's Chinese. She told me that they are different.

[fminorop34]

I hear that French in Quebec is different from French in France. I cannot distinguish. But in my opinion, old French is to be preserved in Quebec. They have been isolated from Anglophone provinces in Canada, America and also France.

[fminorop34]

There are many theory of the reason why French Canada still exists in British-dominant nation. People must have chosen life rather than death. They must have learnd English. It is true that the British Government was <tolerant> enough to allow French people to speak French and be Catholic. religious and language freedom.

[fminorop34]

There are many theory of the reason why French Canada still exists in British-dominant nation. People must have chosen life rather than death. They must have learnd English. It is true that the British Government was <tolerant> enough to allow French people to speak in thir own language and keep thieir religious belief.

[fminorop34]

Without the <tolerlant> policy, the region, in which is now called Canada, would have be independent from Britain and states of U.S.A. The French has been kept thanks to the British Policy. Some historian says that the policy is ane example of traditional "devide and rule". French Canadian have been advance guards on the natural border of Saint Laurence river.

[fminorop34]

If you were a recipient of scholarship, I would recommend you to enter a bilingual university in Canada. For example, Montreal University, Alma Mater of Pierre Trudeau. He is known for his marvelous bilingual. I envy him.

[fminorop34]

I hope that there are various kind of French. And <encoded> French would be acceptable French!

[francophile762004]

Thank you very much for your useful information.^^ I can distinguish French French from Quebec French. Some pronounciations are different and especially intonation is very different. But I can understand Quebec French. For me, it is a little difficult to understand African French.

[francophile762004]

I like also varieties of French language, but it seems that many Parisiens make fun of French language spoken in French provinces(especially Marseilles), Quebec, Belgium, Suiss, Africa.

[francophile762004]

I am interested in Canada, becaise this country has two official languages- English and French and has two cultures. very cosmopolitan. Especially, for me French and English are two important languages in order to understand European and western cultures and histories. And English and French are two official languages of UN. English is an international language of global business and diplomacy and French is still an international language of culture and diplomacy.

[francophile762004]

In Europe, French is more spoken than English as foreign language.And in Asia and other places, English is more spoken than French as the first foreign language, I think.

[fminorop34]

Quebecois live in a settlement just like American Indian. American of French origin were forced to speak English. As you know, Blanche in (A treet car named desire) speaks English. America is a melting pot. But Canada is a mosaic. German-Canadian can support German team in olympic. That is not strange in Canada.

[francophile762004]

And French is more preferred than English in international law's documents, because French is more clear, I heard. But as Asian, I think if europeans or americans would like to do business in East Asia, they have better to learn Japanese, Chinese or Korean, especially 漢字, according to target market, because in East asian countries(Japan, China, Taiwan, Korea), there are also many people who don't understand English.

[francophile762004]

In Singapore and Hong Kong, many people speak and understand well English in business. I want a cosmopolitan asian familar adapted to european and western culture, so for me, it is important..
1. To speak and understand well English and French
2. To have active/open-minded attitude
3. To express my opinion logically/ to clarify Yes or No
4. To respect universal global manners^^

[francophile762004]

Ah, yes, I remember in the movie that Blanche speaks English, even if she is originated from France. And I think that English-speakers compete with French-speakers in Europe aand West. Especially, many French people make fun of and neglect British culture and many British people make fun of French culture and French people, I think. But for me, British culture and French culture have each it's merite.