オーストラリアの航空会社Quantas

オーストラリアのエアライン　Quantas　の話。

パイロットが飛行中に気付いたことを記し、それをメインテナンス係りがチェックする。

そのチェックシート上のやり取り。

これだけユーモアがあれば飛行機も事故は起こさないでしょう。

Here are some actual Maintenance Complaints submitted by

Quantas' pilots(marked with a (P);
and the solutions recorded (marked with an (S), by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

***

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last ...

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel, sounds like a midget pounding on something

with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

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？？？

これね、パイロットが指摘した飛行機の不具合を修理工が直して、その時に、単に「修理完了」と書くんじゃなくて、ユーモアを利かせてるところが笑えるんです。こんど訳を出しましょう。誰か訳してくれてもいいけど。

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ＹＡＨＯＯの翻訳コーナーにたのんでみましょう。。