ハワイは僕の故郷 グァヴァがたべたい！ Aloha Hawaii

オーストラリアの航空会社Quantas

オーストラリアのエアライン　Quantas　の話。

パイロットが飛行中に気付いたことを記し、それをメインテナンス係りがチェックする。

そのチェックシート上のやり取り。

これだけユーモアがあれば飛行機も事故は起こさないでしょう。

Here are some actual Maintenance Complaints submitted by

Quantas' pilots(marked with a (P);
and the solutions recorded (marked with an (S), by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

***

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last ...

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel, sounds like a midget pounding on something

with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

'' Buffalo ''

Buffalo

Visitor: "Say, look at that big bunch of buffalos."

Ranch Hand: "Not 'bunch' -- 'herd'."

Visitor: "Heard what?"

Ranch Hand: "Herd of buffalos."

Visitor: "Sure, I've heard of buffalos. There's a big bunch of 'em right over there."

Paid in Full

ちょっと不人気の英語コーナー

ココはお勉強の英語セクションじゃないので読んで勉強になることはなし！

でも、面白いはなしもあるんだけどなあ。

こりずに、ちょっと長いお話。

アメリカの家庭だなあ、って思える話です。

これ読んでて、思わずなみだがでました。

Paid In Full

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper,

and he handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on.

After his Mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: $5.00

For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00

For going to the store for you: .50

Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: .25

Taking out the garbage: $1.00

For getting a good report card: $5.00

For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00

Total owed: $14.75

Well, his mother looked at him standing there,

and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind.

She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he'd written on, and this is what she wrote:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge.

For all the nights that I've sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge.

For all the trying times, and all the tears that you've caused through the years: No Charge.

For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead: No Charge.

For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge.

Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is: No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes,

and he looked straight at his mother and said, "Mom, I sure do love you".

And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote:

"PAID IN FULL"

~ Author Unknown

Do you like it?

A friend of mine sent me this joke the other day.

Can you have a good laugh?

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.

The house was very, very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 5-year-old girl,

to hold the light high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.

Very diligently Kathleen did as she was asked.

Her mother Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Conner was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom.

Conner began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 5-year-old

what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded,

"He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again."

おいのり

My friend e-mailed me this photo.

Don't you think it's cute?

Good night prayer