あめりかSamurai 娘。

Another Controverse

I have just happened to know about the controverse over

森山直太郎さんの「生きてることが辛いなら」.

Both sides of the argument make sense to me.

If someone who have lost their loved one by suicide,

it must be very difficult for them to listen to the song.

I believe that almost everyone has thought about committing suicide.

I have, and I think it was normal.

As long as human beings have emotion,

we continue to be disappointed, depressed, hopeless, and weak.

But since I learned that suicide is not worth anything

I will not think about suicide ever again.

My life from the 1st grade to the 9th grade was hell.

I had no friends or trustable teachers.

I attempted to hang myself several times.

I didn't ask my parents for help because I didn't want them to find out

about how people were treating their daughter at school.

If I were my mother, it would break my heart and

would want to do whatever it takes to get revenge on those people with no brain and heart.

But now here I am in the United States, pursuing my dream.

I am confident enough to say that I'm a better person

and living a better life than any of those who humiliated me in the past.

They acted like i was invisible.

Only times they talked about me was when they talked behind my back.

Today there are still many people who don't get along with me and avoid hanging out with me.

I'm sure they talk behind my back.

But I have many friends and few best friends as well.

I smile everyday and love going to school.

I would never have met them if I was dead.

Every once in a while, I think back and say to myself "I'm so glad I didn't die".

I think 森山直太郎さん was one of the people who had gone through awful time and

now appreciates the fact that he survived and got where he is right now.

The song is a cheering song for people who think they are in hell right now,

and a celebration song for people who didn't let the hell get them down.

The Earth won't stop spinnig if you die.

People continue their lives as always.

I would rather wait the hell to pass and be able to smile one day than

end the hell right now by committing suicide and will never smile or cry.

Now I can hear someone say

"you are just strong. Not everyone is strong like you".

I HATE when people say that.

Poeple get strong because they were weak.

Mental strength is a prize you get after overcoming your weakness.

There are millions of people who are about to give up their lives.

For them, 森山さんの歌 may sound like it's encouraging the idea of suicide.

But I'd like to say:

Wait one more year and listen to the song again.

If the song doesn't sound like "you loosers, go ahead and die" any longer,

it means that the hell is over and it's time for you to shine.

If it still sounds like "die as you wish", give another year or two.

Repeat it until your interpretation changes.

Hell is just a moment of your life just like extreme happiness won't last forever.

I really don't think 森山さん is for or against suicide.

He simply want to spread the word

"It's ok to express your sadness or weakness.

Get mad when you are upset. Cry when you are sad. After that move on".

My interpretation of this song is

"world won't wait while you are crying.

World won't get better because you cry.

It's no one but you who can make your world better.

So catch up after you let all your emotion out.

Sooner you will find yourself living and shining".

Please remember that I'm not beatifying death or anything.

Death is a serious thing and I appreciate the life I received.

By saying that I thought about death and it's normal,

I didn't mean to have contempt to the value of life.

生きてることが辛いなら　森山直太朗

Bridget

First entry

Hello my friends and guests!

I made this category called English Room to write diary in English

because first, English is SOMETIMES easier for me to write

and second, I am losing my English.


In this country, I think I've made many friends but after all, I'm Japanese.

I bond with Japanese people stronger than others.

We grew up in the same culture, same custom, and have many things in common.

Many Japanese who have just arrived in the States try so hard to stay away from Japanese.

Very clever. Learning English is NO.1 priority.


However, it is very hard for me to do sometimes.

I do wanna be able to speak English fruently, and I do want English speaking friends.

But who would you want to talk to when you are little bit homesick in a strange country?

Without a question, I would find and go talk to Japanese people.

Maybe I did that too much.

I hang out with them too often that it took my confidence in English away.



So here, please allow me to keep diary in English.

Please help me to improve my english.

Feel free to correct me.

Like I said, I'm not perfect or good at writing in English.

You are more than welcome to leave comments in English :-)



Thank you!


Bridget