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The futon is the elementary particle of the hack field. If you have succeeded in isolating a futon, have you measured its properties? For instance, what is its mass? Did you ever experience a magnetic moment on it and get a charge? Does it appear strange? Does it have charm? Has it been slepton?
If you intend to sell the futon, I think you ought to tell potential buyers what its half-life is, and what it decays into. Pillows and sheets? Some nearly massless bedbugs?
If it's a stable futon, what kind of animals were using it, and did they associate any dark matter with it?
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