Live well, laugh often, love much!!!

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Getting Married

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their
decision to get married.

They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way
they pass a chemist.

Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds "

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about suppositories?"

Pharmacist: "You bet!"

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes
for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely.."

Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"

Pharmacist: "We sure do."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob: "Adult incontinance pants?"

Pharmacist: "Sure."

Jacob: "We'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list..."

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi,
was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left
the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from
the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off
the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing
things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed
and stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy.
You should lock your doors and an officer will be along
when one is available."

George said, "Okay."

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned
the police again.

"Hello,I just called you a few seconds ago because there were
people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to
worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both,
the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter,
two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at
the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George , "I thought you said that
you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

(True Story) I LOVE IT!

Don't mess with old people