あらぶだからぶら Dubai the Wonderland

In Egypt ...

 

An American is talking with an Egyptian :

 In USA we have

Barack Obama,

Stevei Wonder,

Bob Hope and 
Johnny Cash.

So, what do you have in Egypt ???
 

The Egyptian replies:
 
In Egypt we have

Hosny Mubarak, but

No Wonder,

No Hope and

No Cash !

 

 

Soooo local、 yet ．．．

In a hospital, in the maternity section,
four new born babies get mixed-up.

There is
a German baby,
a J ewish baby,
a Filipino baby,
and a Emarati baby.

The nurse, who was responsible for the problem,
goes up to the doctor panic stricken, and asks for some help.

The doctor, extremely self-confident tells her not to worry.
He goes to the room where the four babies are and shouts:


　　　　　"H E I L H I T L E R！"


Instantly the German baby gives the military salute,
while the Jewish baby shits in his pants．．．,

and the Emarati baby tells the Filipino baby


　　　"Clean the shit!!!" =))

Live well, laugh often, love much!!!

Getting Married

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their
decision to get married.

They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way
they pass a chemist.

Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds "

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about suppositories?"

Pharmacist: "You bet!"

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes
for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely.."

Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"

Pharmacist: "We sure do."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob: "Adult incontinance pants?"

Pharmacist: "Sure."


Jacob: "We'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list..."

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi,
was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left
the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from
the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off
the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing
things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed
and stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy.
You should lock your doors and an officer will be along
when one is available."

George said, "Okay."

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned
the police again.

"Hello,I just called you a few seconds ago because there were
people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to
worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both,
the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter,
two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at
the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George , "I thought you said that
you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"


(True Story) I LOVE IT!

Don't mess with old people

The 45 lessons

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer,
Cleveland, Ohio "To celebrate growing older,

I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August,
so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone....
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
　　　　 Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others.
　　　　 You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret,
　　　　 you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
　　　　 But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
　　　　 But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life,
　　　　 don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy
　　　　 lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion,
　　　　 today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words
　　　　 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles..
34. God loves you because of who God is,
　　　　 not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and
　　　　 saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

LOVE AFFAIRS

The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes

outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.

'I can't lie to you,' he replied,

'I'm having an affair with my secretary.

We had sex all afternoon.'

She looked down at his shoes and said:

'You lying bastard!

You've been playing golf!'





The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters

but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife:

'There's no way I can be the father of this baby.

Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!

Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied:

'Not this time!'




The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated,

and made a startling discovery.

Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented,

'I can't allow you to be cre mated with such an impressive

private part.

It must be saved for posterity.'

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase,

and took it home

'I have something to show you won't believe,'

he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

'My God!' the wife exclaimed,

'Schwartz is dead!'




The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband

opening the front door.

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

She rubbed baby oil all over him,

then dusted him with talcum powder.

'Don't move until I tell you,'

she said, 'pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired

as he entered the room.

'Oh it's a statue,' she replied,

'the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.'

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned

with a sandwich and a beer.

'Here,' he said to the statue, have this.

I stood like that for two days at the Smiths

and nobody offered me a damned thing.'